There are so many things the United Kingdom is good at. Whimsical rom-coms, suspiciously flawless Olympic cycling, and a nice cup of tea are among them, but sadly, winning the Eurovision Song Contest is not.
Once again it’s the time of year when Eurovision returns to our screens, and countries across Europe and beyond (extremely beyond, these days, what with Australia joining in) compete to win the biggest international festival of sparkly musical camp and pomp in the world. And, by and large, they are a lot better at it than us. So why do we get it so wrong, when other countries get it so right?
First, let’s look at our form. It’s worth noting that actually Britain has historically been very…